Now this is winter!

How cold is it in Chicago?

• The midday, sunny high still has a minus sign in front of it.
• I thought my son was bleeding yesterday morning after I kissed him good morning. Only then did I realize that I cracked my freeze-dried lip open and bled on him in doing so.
• The city has a Blade Runner-esque look with every manhole and sewer drain belching steam. So noir!
• Loaning our shower to a friend whose hot water pipes — but not cold, huh? — froze solid.
• My son’s new favorite word is “negative.”
• It is too cold to snow.
• Shit-filled diapers freeze solid on the back deck instantly.
• The Bears have sucked all warmth from our hearts.

That’s how cold it is.