Security perverts

An open letter to depraved male travelers who are titillated by security procedures at airports:

Sirs, I know you travel a lot. Travel is tough. Long days and nights away from your significant other. This is understood and I empathize. But this does not give you the right to turn the airport security checkpoint into a private fantasy.

Here are some tips:

• Partial disrobing in proximity to a woman doing the same does not constitute foreplay.
• The woman in front of you definitely does not find it funny or novel when you snicker “Any more clothes into the bin and this would be R rated!”
• Barefoot does not mean nude.
• There is nothing you could possibly want to see going on behind that curtain there. Just move on.
• A blouse is not an overgarment so settle down there, Sparky.
• You may not choose who gives you a patdown. Also, there is no patdown with release.

If you absolutely need your fix of TSA-inspired turn-on, I recommend the Internet. I am quite certain there is a niche fetish forum devoted to this sort of thing.

Thank you for your understanding.