May 2, 2008  

Sleestak

My earliest memory of television is also my scariest. I was born in 1972. Land of the Lost aired on Saturday mornings from 1974 to 1976. It was a remarkable program for the time — dark for its time slot, ambitious effects, multi-episode story arcs — I’ve later learned. But back then I knew only this: the Sleestak scared me to death.

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A Sleestak is a cave-dwelling humanoid lizardish creature forever threatening the three hapless humans on the show. Peeling back a few layers of psychological scar tissue I seem to recall that they only ever hissed, though I may simply be unable to remember anything else. (Tell me you wouldn’t crap yourself as a four-year-old hearing that. What were my parents thinking letting me watch this show?)

It’s funny how deeply fear etches. Thinking back on this traumatic formative period of my life I also recall a restaurant my parents used to take us to. I remember two things. First it was like 100 miles away (Oak Brook to Naperville for you Chicago area folks) and second that a Sleestak lived there.

It was a dark restaurant, themed like a old west mining operation. Lots of antique excavation and railway equipment decorating the walls. On a shelf in the corner was an old railroad signal lantern. It looked something like this.

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Obviously, obviously, I could look at nothing else. In the cave-like dark this thing looked exactly like the bulbous eyes of a Sleestak peering down on me and my roast beef au jus. In fact I can’t eat a beef dip to this day without hearing a creepy hissing in my head.

Apparently there is a movie adaptation in the works. Have to take my kids to that. Nothing says family bonding like shared childhood terror.

2 Responses to “Sleestak”

  1. Richard says :

    Sleestaks, arrrg. I was in high school in 1972 when the show came out (don’t start), and had this creepy math teacher. He used to shave the back of his neck so that his hair stopped up at about ear level, giving his neck a long, creepy, reptilian appearance. And he constantly did this thing with his tongue. Well, he quickly became known as Father Sleestak. Thinking about his neck still creeps me out… Thanks for that hideous memory 😉

  2. BASTARD says :

    THIS POST MADE ME LAUGH BECAUSE LIKE YOU THE BASTARD WAS TERRIFIED OF THE SLEESTACKS BUT UNLIKE YOU THE BASTARD WAS ABOUT 43 WHEN THAT SHOW AIRED. THE BASTARD WOULD COWER IN HIS MILDEWY DUCT-TAPED COUCH WHEN THE SLEESTACKS WOULD HISS ACROSS THE SCREEN AND WOULD OFTEN URINATE HIMSELF IN TERROR. EVEN NOW I CAN FEEL THE BASTARD’S PANTS WETTENING IN HORROR.
    THE BASTARD WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR THE LINK. HE SAW THE TRAFFIC FROM YOUR SITE AND IT SHONE A LIGHT IN THE DARK MISERABLE VOID OF HIS LIFE AND HE APPRECIATES THAT. YOU ARE SUPER AND A NICE PERSON.